Sunday, 23 January 2011

Application to Be My Best Friend

Recently one of my best friends has pissed me off, to the point where i think i might need a new one. But I don't really want to leave it up to chance. No no, leaving it up to chance is for suckers. And I look to good to be a sucker. 
If you think you got it then fill out the form and send it to

Application to Be Jersey's New Best Friend


How many times have you ever watched "Gladiator"?
How many times have you said "flip" in the past week?
Favorite Quote?
What are the five food groups?
Favorite Website: 
Favorite Color:
What's your wing span?
Favorite Pizza Topping:
What martial arts do you specialize in?
Did you spend your time learning martial arts with a bushy-eyebrowed old man from Asia?
Did you eventually become the master?
How many guys have you made out with since high school?
What's your favorite Will Ferrell movie?

If you answered anything other than "Talladega Nights: A Ballad of Ricky Bobby", you can stop right here, because there's no way you can be my best friend.

Do you own heels?
What is your Color Code Color?
Does your family have a history of ugly people?
Who is better looking: Channing Tatum or Eric Dane?
What is your Myers-Briggs type?
Have you served in the military?
Was it a secret branch? 
What was the name of that branch?
What is your astrological sign?
Can you incapacitate someone using only your pinky?
Can you eat a 2lbs burger?
Can you speak another language?
What is your position on taking naps?
What is your favorite Disney princess?
Have you ever been molested by a Carebear?
What is your favorite video game?
What is your favorite television show?
Do you like cuddling?
How many hours do you spend listening to music?

NOTE: If you are a guy, tear up this application and just send a picture of yourself with your shirt off, all sweaty. Preferably with tools around you.  

I, the undersigned, residing in the county of __________, state of ________, do hereby declare my intent to shop, hang out, party, and participate at laughing at Jersey's jokes and anything else Jersey Previlon deems appropriate. I accept that submission of the above application represents my consent to participate in pre-Best Friends Activities and/or Colorblind to determine the most qualified applicant. I recognize the possibility of humiliation if not picked as a new best friend. I release, discharge and agree to hold harmless Jersey Previlon and her other best friends from any and all liability, claims or demands arising from participating/becoming Jersey Previlon's best friend. 

The undersigned have read and fully understand and agree to the forgoing. 

     Applicant Signature

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