Monday, 12 September 2011

Melvin Just Got Weirder

Melvin noun /'mel- vən\ 
 : A new breed of creepy guys that you meet at church. They stalk girls, make them feel uncomfortable and have no shame.  also see obby

   So I'm back. Back in Georgia. Happy that I am here with my friends and family. But not happy that Melvin took a whole 3.5 seconds after he saw me to come up to me and ask me about Drue. Well you ask, how did he know about Drue? See this is how Melvin just got weirder. When Drue and I put our relationship on Facebook and from the time Melvin talked to me our relationship, our realtionship had been FBO [FBO adjective an event, activity or realtionship status on the social network Facebook that has been made public.] for no more than six hours.  But my friends that is not the weird part you see, I'm not friends with any of my Melvins on Facebook. I've had a really bad experience with stalkers when I was in high and decided that I hated the feeling or thought of Melvins or Obbys checking up on me periodically. 
  So how did Melvin do it? How did that Nigga get all up in my kool-aid?! [He's all up in my kool-aid and he don't even know the flava!] He's not my friend on Facebook. Check. I've got my Facebook privacy on lock-down. Check. So which one of youse MelvinAiders [MelvinAider noun a person who helps a melvin with his stalking. Could also be a fellow Melvin.] is helping him with his fetish? Cause it just ain't right. I need my privacy too! I deserve the right to be able to run away from my Melvins! That is my right as an American! Nay! My right as a MelvinHater! [MelvinHater noun a person of African American descent who seems to attract a plethora of Melvins. She informs her friends and family about Melvin sightings and activity on her blog JustJersey. She also dislike Melvins but likes the fact that Melvins give her material for her blog.] 
  So now I wait. I wait till my Drue Drue [my nickname for Drue very original i know] will be back in town [Two and a half weeks and counting down. He's currently in North Dakota finishing up a oil rig job] and I wait till Drue Drue will scare away all my Melvins. Sometimes [and sadly] you need a man to scare other men away. My cold demeanor and stanky attitude just doesn't scare away Melvins but a boyfriend will. Who would have thunk it? 

Post Scriptum: I know you guys are waiting for the story of Drue and I. But I'll write about it when I write about it. Patience is a virtue. And let's just say Drue has plenty of it. 

Sunday, 11 September 2011

I Went To Arizona To Kill Bugs, I Came Back To Georgia With A Boyfriend.

Four years. Four years until this happened. Some guys have all the patience. 

Post Sciptum: Drue is his name. Keep him in your prayers. I don't think he knows what he's gotten himself into.