Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Best Submitted Application [to be my Best Friend]

Name: Luke
Alias: the Dark Knight
Age: 22
Weight: 140
Hometown: g-town, USA
How many times have you ever watched "Gladiator"? once
How many times have you said "flip" in the past week? never in my freaking life
Favorite Quote? I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun
What are the five food groups? subway, pastaroni, martinelli, pizza, and chocolate
Favorite Website: just jersey blog
Favorite Color: black people
What's your wing span? enough to wrap around you (all that matters)
Favorite Pizza Topping: elves
What martial arts do you specialize in? chun kuk do
Did you spend your time learning martial arts with a bushy-eyebrowed old man from Asia?no, he's from oklahoma
Did you eventually become the master? physically impossible
How many guys have you made out with since high school? none, son
What's your favorite Will Ferrell movie? Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent 
Do you own heels? no
What is your Color Code Color? black people
Does your family have a history of ugly people? not an ounce
Who is better looking: Channing Tatum or Eric Dane? channing tatum
What is your Myers-Briggs type? ISFJ
Have you served in the military? I can't talk about it
Was it a secret branch? obviously
What was the name of that branch? spanish language news
What is your astrological sign? scorpio
Can you incapacitate someone using only your pinky? if they're asleep
Can you eat a 2lbs burger? obviously
Can you speak another language? espaƱol, asl, and love
What is your position on taking naps? lying down
What is your favorite Disney princess? nala
Have you ever been molested by a Carebear? no
What is your favorite video game? band hero
What is your favorite television show? glee
Do you like cuddling? why yes
How many hours do you spend listening to music? only in the car

oh sorry, I just saw the last part. I don't own any tools, so please accept the application anyway. I anxiously await your decision.

I, the undersigned, residing in the county of __Utah________, state of ___Utah_____, do hereby declare my intent to shop, hang out, party, and participate at laughing at Jersey's jokes and anything else Jersey Previlon deems appropriate. I accept that submission of the above application represents my consent to participate in pre-Best Friends Activities and/or Colorblind to determine the most qualified applicant. I recognize the possibility of humiliation if not picked as a new best friend. I release, discharge and agree to hold harmless Jersey Previlon and her other best friends from any and all liability, claims or demands arising from participating/becoming Jersey Previlon's best friend. 

The undersigned have read and fully understand and agree to the forgoing. 

X_Luke Christensen__________________________________
     Applicant Signature