Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Guys Say They Have Girlfriends…When It’s Convenient

I've been on a hiatus for the past month or so. Because I currently work with Bug Boys. Yes I, Jeena Previlon is a Lady Bug. [Yes, I said "is" I'm still black no matter what] I sell pest control door to door. I'm knocking on your windows. Trying to sell you pest control. Hide your kids. Hide your wives and Hide your money to cause I'm trying to sell errbody out here.

My life in a basic summary so far. I'm a lady bug living in Tempe, Arizona selling pest control. Got it? Okay.

I've been a lady bug for 4 weeks now and I've gone where most girls have never gone before. I'm in the inner circle of the bug boys. I know their secrets. I know who they have left behind at home [girlfriends]. I know what color their garments are [they're white]. I know what they eat for breakfast. [Let me tell you it's not cocoa puffs] Every year these boys come into our ward and they steal the hearts of the young single women and then they break them. Now that I work with these guys, I have realized that some of them aren't so bad but they ARE males which means douche-ness runs through their DNA. In our group of bug boy/lady bugs there are four single girls and sixteen single guys [I use the word "single" very loosely]. Now during week one more than half of these guys told us they had someone waiting for them back home. Currently we are in week four and I can only count two who is still truly loyal to their girlfriend. Some of them have broken up with their girlfriends, some of them have told their girlfriends that they aren't sure what the future hold for them [which means: I want to make out with a few girls then when the summer is over I want to come back to you and I want you to be okay with that] and some of them still call their girlfriends at night and then flirts with girls right afterwards.

What I can't understand is that most of these guys are pretty solid guys. I see some of these guys being bishops, high counselors or members of the seventy when we get older [much older]. But they are doing all of these shenanigans that I can literally compare to guys that are non-members.

One of the guys just baffles me [not really, I can read him like a book. More specifically. The Twilight series]. He's really successful. Does great selling. Hilarious. People follow his leadership. He's got some money in the bank. He a bit older [27-29 yrs of age] so he ready to get married [already owns a house!] he's a 5 ½ [out of a 10] but he personality bumps him up to an 8 ½ which in Mormonville that is perfect for all the desperate girls that want to get married. Except he is so good at being successful in career and setting goals for himself, that he sucks at setting and achieving his relationship/personal goals. He wants to get married but he does nothing to help him attain that! [why do I sound like a self help book] Which is funny cause I thought he was cute [I'd tap dat] for literally a week. Then I saw how bad he was with girls and relationships [and you guys already know how bad at it I am] that it turned me off.

This whole pest control experience has just shown me that nothing is set in stone until you are married! [isn't that sad?] Cause once it's written on earth it's written in heaven.

Talking to Danielle she made me realize that is why the guys get it so hard during priesthood meetings cause they do things like this [among many other things] and our prophet has to lay down the smack down [yes, for those of you who are not members; Our prophet wrestles our non-worthy members into WORTHYNESS at every general conference.]

This jist of all of this is: Dating is already difficult with honesty. But add dishonesty, the extra girls on the side, and a cocky personality and you'll make girls like Phillips and I never want to date again. [maybe she and I should just date each other?]

But somehow [cause I'm an idiot] I'm interested in someone right now [and he's interested in me too :)] He's this cute little red head, who tends to sheep, likes country music, riding semi-trucks, and polishing chrome. He's LDS [so I don't have to worry about agnostic/philosophy crap in our relationship]. He holds the priesthood [but he's not peter priesthood; just the way I like it]. He's stubborn and cocky and I'm interested.

Post Scriptum: I'm getting paid for inception. My job has taught me all the tricks of the trade on how to get people to agree with me and get them to do what I want. I'm using this in my relationship life to get what I want. I'll tell you how it's working so far.


No comments:

Post a Comment