Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Where Your Boyfrand At?

I lean in to give her a kiss but instead she pulls in my face close to hers, pinches my cheeks, pinches my cheeks good and says "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Your too pretty not to have a boyfriend."
  That is exactly what happened to me at work. You tell me WTF i'm suppose to say to that? I could tell her about my whole summer story. How there was a guy and now there isn't. But then I remember I told her Jewish butt about the breakup and telling her would be like telling her for the first time. I didn't want to break her heart by telling her again.
 But I know I ain't the only chick in the ward that get's asked the same question at least once a month. So i'm going to tell you girls why we are still single: 
  1. Natalie totally dated him! Which means I can't because well we shared that burger that one time and we told each other secrets. I told her i like Platypus's. We bonded and I couldn't do that to her. 
  2. It's because he's shy. Really shy. You have no idea. So i'm going to spend all of my time with him and invite him to all of my hangouts! Until he's not shy anymore and when he's not shy around me anymore then he will tell me how much he likes me.
  3. We hang out all the time! Well no he's never asked me out on a specific date but I know he like me cause i'm the first person he calls when he's bored or wants to do something.
  4. He smiled at me when he was passing the sacrament! No directly at me! I'm going to like him and only him for time and all eternity! 
  5. He's really busy right now with school, life and breathing but i know he likes me. That's why i don't fault him for not calling me all the time. So that's why i call him all the time. He just too busy to remember to call.
I actually feel bad cause i know there are some of us that are happy that we're single. I know I am. I just got out of a long two months relationship (H-E-double hockey sticks yeah 2 months is a long time. Don't hate) so there are some of us that just want to be single right now. But then there are some that don't. Maybe I was exaggerating on a few of these on the list just a bit. But it happens guys, it really does. I know i've heard worse from girls say but we say all of these things and it makes us sound crazy! And we need to stop. Better yet I need to you tell this: To all the girlfriend who say "Yeah i think he totally likes you!" When at the bottom of the depths of your soul you know that guy ain't trying to holla at her? But you feel like you can't be the one to let your sista down! So you tell her yeah. Then she goes has that man's baby and that Negro leaves her as soon as he finds out she's pregnant. Now she's at your house crying. Then in the back of your mind you remember that time when you should told her he was just not that into her..oh and those yoga pants she wore three months ago made her look fat. 
Yeah you girlfriends are wrong and someone needs to do a driveby your a$%.
post scriptum: is he tall? is  he hefty? is bringing you mike & ike's? is he coming back? do you like mike and ike's? where your boyfrand at?


    1. I am so were trying to give her a kiss or what? Is that a typo or did I just read that wrong?

    2. She's an old person at my job guys! I was gonna give her a kiss on her cheek and instead she stopped me and looked and held my face for about a minute and asked me if i had a boyfriend....