Creepy Guys @ Church

 So I have this problem. Creepy Guys @ Church. These aren't the typical normal creepy guys that we've already known for years. These are a new breed of creepy guys. A whole new species. I haven't even had time to classify them yet. Cause to the normal group of people, these are pretty normal guys.  

 These are just some of the creepy things Creepy Guys @ Church have done

1. Tell me (4 times and counting...) That you only live about 10 minutes from me and that you don't mind giving me a ride. The first time I could have thought you were being thoughtful. But #2-4 when you text it to me and catch me when i'm all alone to tell me how far we live from each other, that is creepy. 
2. When you ask me if I'm temple worthy. Ask me if I always wear my garments(I'm not even endowed yet). When was the last time I've been to the temple. If i'm ready to go to the temple. Nigga please (this is not referring to the creepy guys race, i just wanted to this word for emphasis) do not hit me up to find out if I'm the one. I can tell you right now I am not. 
3. You send me text messages with "Love Ya" at the end of it. Can anyone tell this guy how much I hate saying "I Love You" to the opposite sex? I haven't said it yet and I'm not about to start with you.
4. You have come visited my house without being invited. I don't even know what to say about this, lucky you did were not invited into my house (I was not at home... luckily) but you asked for Jersey and my parents don't know me as Jersey. Epic Fail on your part.
5. You touch girls bums underneath their skirts. (This is not creepy that is f*%!ing harassment. You are so lucky that you did not do this to me. Cause I would have punch this nigga out!)
6. If you put your hand out for a handshake and I "politely" ignore it but then insist on a handshake I just think it's so you can touch my black hands. Like you ain't never been around a black person before.  

 So I am not going to tell you who these Creepy Guys @ Church are, but youse guys know who you are. I'm just going tell you I think i'm really easy to read. If i think your cute and if you flirt with me i'll flirt with you back. I think i'm even easier to read when i don't like you. I ignore your text/calls (especially if you write "Love Ya" at the end) etc etc. Do any of youse listen to Dane Cook? Creepy Guy @ Work? Yeah he calls them "Obbys". Now with this new breed of creepy guys I think they deserve a name also. I think "Melvin" is perfect! If you ever are around me and you hear me say "Melvin" (Melly for short) just make damn sure I'm not talking about you.

 Post Scriptum: I used the word "Nigga" alot in this post (for emphasis of course) and if it bothers, you oh well. I really don't care. If you haven't noticed your reading a blog written by a Nigga. 

Conversations With Danielle

With Oprah leaving television what is going to happen to TV? Actually the real question is going to be, where are people going to go when they want free stuff?  

 Have you ever had someone that you hang out with alot that you basically just feed off of them and they feed off of you. That is how i feel with I hang with Danielle. She gives me the best material for me to be funny. When I was younger I wanted to be a comedian. Really badly. Then i realized that was pretty much going to be pretty much impossible. I can say random funny thing but I am not constantly funny like Niki Lemley. Who i think just bleeds funny. 

 The best compliment I could ever get from anyone is for them to say i'm funny. Forget about being pretty, that's so normal. I want to be funny. 

 So talking about Talk shows and Oprah was an actual conversation that I had with Danielle tonight. She hates the View. I love it. She watches Vegas while I love watching the Today show and Wendy Williams. (I used to watch the Doctors but they keep talking about SEX, and for reals though you can only have someone talk about SEX and how many things can go wrong when you do it for so many episodes) so then Oprah came up. My question was what is television going to do when Oprah leaves? Danielle assured me that Oprah leaving isn't like Y2K. Danielle isn't black, she doesn't understand. 

 Everybody get a car! You get a car. You get a car. You get...Actually forget that Oprah gives away bigger "sugar" than that...Everybody get's a country! You get a country. You get a country! Everybody get's a country with a Flag. 

S*%t I wish I was Oprah.